Entitlement

Argh. Just the word irritates me. So, dear friends, you can expect this to be an angry, rambling post. Just so you're warned. : )

Recently I read a favorite blog about a lovely woman named Sharon who has chosen to lead a life off the grid. While her husband has a 40-hour a week job, she stays at home with her boys, they raise chickens, grow their own food, line dry their clothes, heat and cook over a wood stove, etc. They're an *obviously* happy family with *obviously* healthy kids leading a life that suits them well. Period. Some of her choices are a little different than mine, but to each their own, right? What came out of the comments section of her blog was the suggestion that she is abusing her kids because she doesn't keep her house *warm enough*. While 58 is a bit cool for us, who decides what is abuse and what isn't? Who decides what we're entitled to, what is a right and what is a luxury?

It's my humble opinion that the decline of our society has come out of the post-WWII economic boom. Suddenly everyone had money, plenty of money, leisure time, lots of leisure time and a warped sense of what is right, what is abuse and what we're entitled to. 100 years ago it would been the height of insanity to suggest that we're entitled to enormous homes, central air and heating, name-brand store-bought food and brand new clothes at the change of every season. Cool homes were a fact of life. Hard work was a fact of life. Hand me down clothes were a fact of life. Cutting back during the dark days of winter were a fact of life. Then suddenly comes along the "American dream. " 3 bedroom homes with a car in every garage, central air conditioning, TV dinners, famous maker shoes, brand-name toilet paper and weekends at the country club.

What started out as a dream became a right. That dream warped, evolved, morphed, divided and conquered its way through the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and now into the new millennium. Luxuries of the last millennium; heat, food, clothing, education are now a staple of life in modern America, for which we're obviously thankful. But sadly, they've been replaced with shallow, self-serving, mass-produced idols that we mistakenly view as necessities. At some point, thanks to mass-media, slick politicking, psycho-babble and a heap of self-delusion, we've convinced ourselves that we are deserving and entitled to the 'good things' in life, regardless of whether we need them, deserve them, can afford them or whether they're healthy and wholesome.


And to me, what is even more disheartening, is that if you fit somewhere outside that 'framework' of entitlement and consumption, there's something wrong with you, probably mentally.

"Are you serious, no HBO channels?

What do you mean you (choke) buy off-brand toiletries?

Seriously? From a yard sale?

You mean you won't spend 40 dollars on a child's Halloween costume?

Gasp and swoon, that's child abuse!!!!"

When is enough enough? How much do we have to own, buy, consume before we believe that we're worthy, valuable, comfortable? How much do we owe our kids? Is it abuse to deny them Nick Jr and an overheated room full of imported toys?

I feel like I'm caught in a whirlpool at times. When you're at the top, in the outer waves, you don't notice it really. Just a lovely calm swirling, a gentle rocking. But then it begins to pull a little harder. You spin a little more quickly. It takes stronger treading to keep above the waves. Then you're pulled into the funnel, and no matter how hard you swim, there's no getting out. That seems like our society today. The outer waves are drawing you in, showing you the pleasures of consumption, the satisfying draw of buying what you want because you 'deserve' it, then the sinking as you realize that enough is never enough. That you need more. A greater idol, a stronger fix, a more expensive right to the best Corporate America has to offer. And it never stops.

It's only lately that I've discovered that I don't want to be in the whirlpool anymore. That there are things out there more important than convenience, comfort and fitting into the 'framework.' That I can be just as satisfied with a small house, used clothes, off-brand toilet paper and weekends at home. That in taking small steps to live more independently, I honor my ancestors who worked so hard to get me where I am today. I guess what I want to say is "Stop the whirlpool, I'm getting out!"

I'm finished competing for the cutest kids clothes, the biggest TVs, the most elite preschools, the biggest house. I've decided that I'm not depriving my kids by canceling the Noggin channel and refusing to buy 'fruit' chewy candies. I'm not abusing them by keeping our house cool, buying secondhand clothes and toys and making them share their possessions. I think my children are growing up with a realistic view of what the world really is, and more important what it isn't. It isn't a purple and pink glittery princess fairyland where their happy subjects dance around them in an endless desire to fulfill their every wish. In my humble opinion, that constitutes mental abuse, because WOW! what a trauma when they find out that that world doesn't exist. My kids are at their happiest with full bellies, warm feet, snuggling under a 'sicky' blanket with mom and dad. But those are the simple things we're all entitled to, right?