If my walk with Christ were a movie and had it's own theme song, this would be it.
I spent so many years afraid. Of God. Of the world. Of my condition. I thought I understood and I thought I had it together and everything was all wrapped up in a pretty little package with a bow.
But I was afraid.
There was an emptiness, a palpable empty spot. That quiet spot reserved solely for God, that nobody but the Saviour could fill. I was keenly aware of that emptiness. And I was afraid.
In hindsight, I think I was taught through fear. I was taught how angry God was (and is). I heard about punishments, judgements, retribution. I heard about eternal damnation, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Fire and brimstone.
I felt cornered and I responded with fear and a hardened heart.
What I never heard about was love. How deeply, desperately God loves us. That he wants us to know Him and love Him. That He loves us no matter what. No matter what we do or who we are or where we go, He loves us.
Nobody ever told me that.
Nobody ever used the words love, patience, kindness, mercy, redemption to teach me about Christ. Nobody ever told me how God and the Angels rejoice when a sinner is saved.
*Rejoice.*
Over US.
The God of Heaven and Earth and all Creation rejoices. Over a single sinner redeemed.
Nobody ever used those words.
It was always fear in order to persuade.
It was condemnation and judgement. It was never love.
Imagine my surprise when I found out the Truth. That God bought us out of slavery through the blood of Christ because He loves us. That he was willing to Sacrifice Himself in order that we might be made whole again. That He longed to restore us to fellowship with Him.
That no matter what, He's the Father.
And no matter what, we're his children. His precious, beloved, adored (and at times, knuckle-headed) children.
The day God redeemed me, I understood. My heart softened, my guilt relieved, my condemnation removed. My fear was gone. God's Perfect Love cast out all fear.
He never let go.
He pursued me.
He redeemed me.
He cherishes me.
He protects me.
He is with me.
He is my Saviour, my Wonderful Counselor, my Redeemer, my Father, my Creator.
Whom then shall I fear?
7 comments:
Andie I'm so happy for you, you could not know how much. It is such a freedom to let go and let God. That is when life truly begins. :)
I can't even imagine teaching Christianity from fear instead of love. That makes no sense to me. Apparently, I have been lucky in my family and clergy's presentation of God. Yay for someone finally describing him that way for you!
Hi Shelly-So good to hear from you! It IS freeing and I'm only just beginning to see how much so.
Hi Stacy! How are you, lady?!? How's the munchkin? For certain denominations, fear is a huge part of their doctrine. I think part of it stems from lack of understanding...but it's also a really effective tactic for scaring people into the pews.
Andrea,darlin if you have God in your corner there is nothing or anyone to fear.Perhaps a little fear for your children or whatever on the human here and now level but in the end no fears!
China
III
Yes! I skipped to the back of the Book and I know how the story ends! No matter what happens here, I know how my story ends!
Thank you for the post and the song...it so ministered to me...how quickly we forgot all His benefits. I had a rough day and it was just what I needed.
Ps 27 is my special psalm.
It is so good to know that underneath are the everlasting arms!
I too was fearful most of my life, was in a very sad fellowship that used fear as a control tool for a time also. It is so liberating to be loved! To have a heavenly Father that loves me. And to know that He will keep me safe in His hands where no one can take me from Him.
Blessings to you!
HUP
I found your blog through a comment you left on Homestead Revival. You said that on 9/11 you were working at a Pre-K and that you broke the rules and prayed. That comment really struck a chord with me. I was also working at a childcare center/Pre-K that day. And, I wish we would have broken the rules with the children too!
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